To understand what it is to take care of a mentally handicapped child is very important when facing the relationship established among parents and children, concerning the children's mental health. This investigation was based on the phenomenological theoretical-methodological approach, which is proposed to uncover phenomenon aspects. Eleven couples and two mothers with children who have mental handicaps were interviewed, with the following question as a guideline: "How has it been to care of your child?" The reports were analyzed according to the search for convergence descriptions and it could be understood that, for the interviewed parents, there are difficulties when conceiving the possibility of being-with-deficiency and that the experimental knowledge is much important for the search of the children's development. Also, the attachment to the child is lived as a possibility to recognize the human diversity. Fathers showed they have been active on their care, though with attitudes still consolidated to misconceptions in which this is mother's responsibility.
mental handicap; parents; phenomenology; care